Why Some Asians Don’t Outright Express Affection In The Romantic Sense

Mabel Kwong

For some of us stereotypical Asians, showing physical affection and love doesn’t come easy. For some of us stereotypical Asians, expressing one-on-one intimacy like holding hands, hugging and kissing someone who matters to us feels hard or doesn’t cross our minds often.

All throughout school in Malaysia and Singapore, my Chinese-Malaysian parents wagged the finger at dating and romantic escapades. Physical contact with any classmate whom I fancied was frowned upon. Part of me resented this, part of me didn’t.

Love and physical affection may or may not go hand-in-hand in harmony | Weekly Photo Challenge: Harmony. Love and physical affection may or may not go hand-in-hand in harmony | Weekly Photo Challenge: Harmony.

Love is often entwined with affection. When it comes to expressing love by the means of touch, at times we hold back because of what we’ve always known.

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45 thoughts on “Why Some Asians Don’t Outright Express Affection In The Romantic Sense

      • Akshitha says:

        Wow nice 🙂 I m from India 😀 my state is Kerala which is in the southernmost part o India, close to the Indian ocean and the arabian sea.

        Like

      • juandering.artist says:

        Oh I see! Yeah I’ve made a friend with an Indian guy on one of my travels to Singapore. He’s only visiting there too. I admire how you guys are so friendly. 🙂 We are rather shy, and are seldom the first to speak.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Akshitha says:

        Wow! Are you guys still in touch? Well.. many of us are coz we keep meetng dif people in our country Ppl of numerous faith, languages, cultures.. We interact with people a lot. Maybe thats why. I dont knw exactly. 😀

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      • juandering.artist says:

        Unfortunately no, due to a certain circumstance, I was transferred to a different accommodation, but hadn’t got his Facebook account. I remember him telling me to visit Little India in Singapore and try the food, and if I liked it, I should visit India (“big India” he used to call it) and look for him so he can tour me around! 🙂 What a great guy. I loved your food btw!! spicy and flavorful.

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      • Akshitha says:

        Aha.. I m glad you liked it 🙂 But I dont knw which food you tasted. Diff states in india have different food items. 😀 but anywy most of them are spicy. But still they are altogether diff. 😀 I hope m not confusing you. Actually there maybe food items I myself may not have tasted in my own country. Hehe.

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      • juandering.artist says:

        It’s okay, I totally get you Akshitha..it’s the same here, different provinces (we do not have states) have different “specialties”..I forgot the name of the food though. Being in a foreign country, the name of the foods are rather hard to pronounce, even harder to remember.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Akshitha says:

        Haha nice.Provinces? So what are the diff types of people you find in and around your place?I mean their languages and all? Yes..I totally understand.Its difficult to remember names of food items 😀

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      • juandering.artist says:

        The Filipino people is composed of many different races. Since Philippines is an archipelago, people are separated by sea, hence from the beginning, before we were colonized and became one country, different races have been thriving across the Philippines. We are a mix of almost everyone. Haha Malay, Chinese, Japanese, and Spanish mainly. 🙂

        How about you Akshitha? I’d like to hear something about your country as well 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Akshitha says:

        Wow! How nice. I wish I could visit one day 😀 oh I think I have been telling you about my country all along 😀 I l ask you more about yours. 😀 So what language do u speak? Have you visited any place outside your country?

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      • juandering.artist says:

        Yes you should! If you’re a fan of beaches and sand, you’ll find that we have plenty of those! 🙂 We have one national language, Filipino, (it’s weird, i know! we are Filipinos and we speak Filipino! haha) but we have different languanges, as we have different cultures. But if you converse using Filipino, we’re able to communicate. 🙂

        Countries visited…hmmm yeah, I’ve been to Singapore, Thailand, and Macau. I’m still writing so I have published any about them yet. This July I plan to visit Malaysia. 🙂

        Do you travel too? It’s an overwhelming experience, wouldn’t agree?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Akshitha says:

        Oh so nice !! Yeah I love beaches.We do have lot of beaches here coz I m from that part of India which is close to the sea.But I would love to see more .Thats’ interesting.So you just have to know Filipino and you can converse with everybody!thats wonderful!In India we don’t have a common language like that so it becomes difficult sometimes.In the northern part of India there are many languages but they are all similar to Hindi.So a language would do..even if people speak different languages many in north India knw hindi so you need to know only one language.But when it comes to Southern part of India (I belong to this part) it becomes very difficult.We have four states and all the four speak diffrent languages which are not even similar.So we use English when we meet someone from another state.Its almost like meeting someone outside your country.Though Hindi is taught in schools,since its not a language used in southern India people are still not able to speak.So when a north Indian and South indian meet,they mostly speak in English.In the eastern part of India ,most of the people belong to some tribe or other.And each tribe as a different language,so even they speak English.Complicated right? 😀 Wish we had a common language like you people do! 😀 And yeah I havent traveled much.Atleast not outside my country yet.Though I would love to.Let me get a job first.Then I l travel 😀

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      • juandering.artist says:

        Akshita, sorry, it seems I have confused you. In urban places, like very very remote, the tribes there do not speak Filipino, probably 5-10% of the population. So technically speaking, not all Filipinos speak Filipino. Sorry for the confusion.

        Anyway, we speak English too. In fact, in the southeast Asia (or so we claim), we are one the better speaker of English, although we have a rather hard accent. Hehe It is taught in schools, and so is Filipino, since we are 10, or so.

        I agree. When you’re able to get some income, save some then travel. 🙂 It’s good to hear you’re a traveler yourself. Should I ask you to describe India in one word, what would it be? I haven’t really been there, but the word in my mind would be “temples”. 🙂 I don’t know, probably that’s because of what I saw from some documentaries in the TV. Philippines would be “beaches” to me. Although we also have beautiful mountains and some forests. 🙂

        BTW, I have a silly question. How do you say “thank you” in your dialect? 🙂

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      • Akshitha says:

        Yeah I understand.But still its only 5-10% of the population right.In our case almost half of the population (You knw about our population explosion right? 😀 ) don’t speak Hindi.Well for me,the owrd would be ‘colourful’ because the best thing I like about my country is the colourful dressing of the people.Its like..I don’t know how to describe it.Plus the land..we have like many different soils here of different colours.And yeah..I don;t know how to explain 😀 You are right about the temples.Hinduism is a major religion here.Though we have many others as well.Jainism,Budhism all started in India.But hinduism is our oldest religion. 🙂 SInce I come from Kerala,in India my language is Malayalam and in my language it is “nanni” for thank you.Hindi is our national language and in Hindi you say “dhanyawaad” for thank you. 🙂 My state is a very small one.Only few people understand our language.But Hindi many Indians follow.That’s why I told you its Hindi equivalent 😀

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      • juandering.artist says:

        Oh, I see. Nanni Akshitha, for sharing so much of your culture. 🙂 and dhanyawaad for keeping me company here in WordPress!

        Yeah, I agree that “colorful” could be one way of describing India. I have some documentaries, wherein the people toss colorful powders in the air. I think that’s one of the festivities, though I’m not entirely sure. I’d love to experience that though. It’s interesting to hear that you have many colors of the soil. I’ve seen brown, black and red here. It would be an amazing scene to see more!

        In the Philippines, the majority of the population is Christian, then next Islam. Over the years, there has been conflicts between the two major religions, but as time passed, we have learned to accept and live side by side with each other.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Akshitha says:

    Wow !! That was nice !! ^_^ You are welcome John,the pleasure is mine 🙂 Oh you must be talking about Holi.Holi is the festival in which colours are thrown at each other.You can Google it 😀 Yeah I think we have six types of soil in India,(frankly I haven’t seen them all.not yet 😀 )Laterite soil,Alluvial soil,Black soil ,Red soil,Mountain soil and Arid soil. hehe 😀 ohh..I c..here we have many religions Hinduism,Christianity,Islam,Jainism,Sikhism,Zoroastrianism and many Tribal religions which I myself don’t know.In my state Kerala,we have Jew population as well.not many left now.But once there were many Jews.Many returned back to Israel.The Jews were given asylum long back.We have a synagogue in my state.There are still few Jewish families left but still very few .Btw John are you on fb?

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    • juandering.artist says:

      Yeah that’s the one. So it’s called Holi. 🙂 ooohhh I hope I can catch it should I visit India! Accdg to Google, it’s between Feb and March. Is it a nation-wide event? Or happens only on particular places?

      You have lot religions! It’s amazing how we are composed of so many beliefs but still able to respect one another, don’t you agree? 😉

      BTW, yeah I have an FB account. Glad you found it. I’ve accepted you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Akshitha says:

        Yeah Holi 😀 Its not a nation wide event .Its celebrated m=in the northern part of India.In my state you don’t find ppl celebrating it,though now a days there is a trend among our generation youth to celebrate it in college 😀 I have celebrated with my friends at college.But if you want to actually see the festuval in its true splendor you should be in Northern India ..Delhi(our capital) or anywr in the north. 🙂 Yeah it is.It is interesting how ppl manage to live together inspite of the differences in faith.ok I l check it out 😀

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      • juandering.artist says:

        Oh nice! So Northern India, is it? I’ll make sure to remember. 🙂 Among your festivals, what’s your favorite? Mine is the Festival of the Holy Child (Santo Niño). The festival is about dedication of Jesus, God incarnate, in the temple. It is celebrated in Cebu, one of the Islands in the central part of the Philippines. 🙂 During the festival, people dance in the streets in a parade, along with the contenders of the street dancing competition. It is very festive indeed! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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